Mount Eerie - A Crow Looked At Me

Mount Eerie is the often challenging audibly and emotionally project of singer-songwriter Phil Elverum.  Phil, formerly of the equally as challenging and celebrated The Microphones, is an acquired taste to say the least.  Over the years, his mostly nature based lyrics time and time again have almost completely revolved around Death among other depressing themes, but boy are his albums ever rewarding.  His first project under the Mount Eerie name, "No Flashlight" wasn't too show-stopping.  Phil often seemed unclear of which direction he wanted to go in, and there were just one too many short detours on this album for me to really sink my teeth in.  Phil got his act together quickly though, because with Mount Eerie's next project "Lost Wisdom", he won me over for life.  This album was only 24 minutes long, but remains easily one of my top 5 favorite folk albums ever.  I loved how skeletal it sounded, so low-fi, and so dismal and depressing.  It was wonderful, and while it was so short it sounded complete.  But most importantly, Phil Elverum now seemed to have direction.  2008's "Dawn" was much warmer sounding and a little less low-fi, but just as rewarding.  It contained newly recorded versions of some of my favorite tracks from "Lost Wisdom", a sequel to The Microphones "The Moon" which comes off fantastic, and plenty of other quiet folk songs that come out wonderfully.  Now, up until this point, Phil's Mount Eerie project has been pretty straightforward.  That's where 2009's explosive "Wind's Poem" album comes in.  This album is, for lack of a better term, insane.  Insanely good, but still insane.  There's far from any real folk music here, as this album is made up completely of noisy, black metal and drone metal influenced rock with Phil's calming vocals underneath.  The result is one of Mount Eerie's more challenging album's, but my gosh is it ever an experience.  The sheer contrast between the explosive music and Phil's verses is a show within itself.  Throw in a Twin Peaks referencing track and the highly sought after sequel to his legendary "Lost Wisdom", and it's one hell of an album.  We wouldn't hear from Phil again for 3 years.  In 2012, the unnerving "Clear Moon" was released.  After the explosive sound of their last album, hearing Mount Eerie against a much more quiet atmosphere was unsettling, yet seemed right.  "Clear Moon" was filled with much more experimental rhythms and weird detours, but almost all of it was  beautiful and just as painfully human as you would have come to expect from Mount Eerie.  Later that year, Mount Eerie also released "Ocean Roar".  Now, honestly this was the firs time I really wasn't floored by a Mount Eerie album.  There were great moments like "Waves" and I loved the return to the noisy sound, but there were so many small detours that were really unnecessary.  "Sauna" was disappointing in it's own ways as well.  Lyrically, Phil brought his A+ game.  But instrumentally this was some of the most underwhelming thing Mount Eerie had done in a while.  The thing is, Phil's music has always been patience testing, but there was always a pay off. On "Sauna", I felt like there was absolutely no pay off.  In a way, I feel like Phil needed a little bit of inspiration to get him back to the same truly gripping, engaging songwriting that he once achieved.  However, I don't think anyone really expected for Phil to get THIS sort of inspiration.  If you haven't been keeping up with Phil, last summer his wife Genevieve was diagnosed with cancer and passed away shortly after.  Phil instantly began writing new material for the first time in a few years.  The singles released early from this album have been absolutely gripping, let's chat about the rest of this album, keep some tissues handy.

(Some classic Mount Eerie to set the mood)

This album starts off with “Real Death”, which more or less is Phil’s mission statement here.  If you were expecting some sort of loud, triumphant return for the music of Mount Eerie, you should probably turn back now.  I mean, when you start an album with the lyric “Death is real, someone’s there and then they’re not”, you know you’re going to be needing some tissue with for this one.  Phil knows damn well that some idiotic fool might take this album as “rocket back to success” by using Genevieve’s death as leverage, and he addresses that in the opening bars.  “A Crow Looked At Me” isn’t just another Phil Elverum project, this is much more than an album, this is something so much greater.  This is more or less a therapy session.  The amount of detail on “Real Death” and every song that follows is tremendous, as Phil takes us through a series of very real thoughts we’ve all had no matter how hard they are to process.  The lone synth and light drumming as well as Phil’s lonely guitar end up making him feel so damn lonely.  Phil Elverum to me has always been so secretive and secluded, often letting us into his life but doing it in his own unique way.  Here however, he’s taking us into his life and thoughts like never before.  The little details he uses throughout are so well chosen.  Like the way he brings up his wife still getting mail in the days after she died, and of course that heartbreaking moment when Phil opens up the package to realize Genevieve had realized she wouldn’t be around to see their daughter go to school and bought her a backpack to use one day.  This isn’t a folk record, this isn’t a Mount Eerie record, this is Phil Elverum taking us by the hand and guiding us through everything he’s felt.  It’s not an easy journey, but in the 2 and a half minutes of “Real Death” this is already an emotional ride unlike any I’ve had in some time.  Even the way Phil ends this track by saying “I Love You” followed by abrupt silence, if you don’t tear up a little you’re a monster.  “Seaweed” is up next, with this one changing in tone quite a bit (be prepared for a real roller coaster of thoughts and emotions).  Phil’s vocals here seem so unforgiving and bitter, as if he feels like someone came and physically took his wife right away from him.  He sounds so lonely, the way he’s coming to this island all by himself that he and his late wife planned on moving too.  He goes heavily into detail here about forgetting little things about Genevieve, which is just such a heart wrenching thought.  The little details are just so stunning and real, the way he’s looking for signs of Genevieve’s presence everywhere.  He sees a bird on the beach that he knew she loved, and believes it’s her in a way until he realizes it’s there just to eat, and later finds himself in a field of her favorite flowers and wondering if she’s there with him, it’s all just so real.  Little things like that are things we’ve all felt as we’ve desperately looked for some sort of closure.  Of course, this eventually leads to Phil thinking about life itself, in a way that only he can.  This album is a gripping tale, but in a strange way, I feel like Phil is all of us.  We’ve all lost someone so close to us at some point, but Phil is summarizing every feeling that comes with that, even feelings we’ve never been able to describe.  In a weird way, Phil understands death more than a lot of us.  Even the way he goes into details about spreading her ashes and how he “doesn’t think of theme as her”, before abruptly ending once again, is nothing but raw emotion.  “Ravens” is up next, and instrumentally is just as stripped back and lonely sounding.  This is far from an album you’re going to want to take in the instrumentals for, no this is all about Phil Elverum.  “Ravens” goes back a few years and starts to bring in some serious imagery.  It’s chilling honestly as Phil recalls seeing Ravens near his house.  He even claims that he knows they’re omens, but he doesn’t know what of, as they flay towards the island he earlier described on “Seaweed”.  But Phil here takes us one step further as he brings us into Genevieve’s treatment as well as what she was feeling at the time.  He goes on to explain how her body changed, and how guiltily he says he didn’t want to see her in pain and would turn his head (which he follows up with how now he “Couldn’t look at her at all”).  This album is one tear jerking track after another.  He feels so sorry for the things he had to do since her passing, as he begs for forgiveness for having to sell her clothes.  Phil continues to put in so many little details that you would honestly think that you were watching a movie.  As “Ravens” continues, Phil continues to feel so incredibly lost.  Then we get to lines where Phil is going on saying that he’ll wait for Genevieve to come back wherever it is she’s gone to, only to reply with “And then I remember, death is real”, absolutely heart wrenching.  “A Crow Looked At Me” is an incredible, emotional display the likes of which I haven’t heard in a very long time.  Not to mention, the short pauses at the end of each track are always so hard hitting, like Phil knows damn well you’re going to need a few seconds to take this all in.  “Forest Fire” is up next, and as far as the instrumental goes, this may be the most technical one here, which really isn’t saying much at all but still.  As the album goes on, we’re getting a little further from Genevieve’s passing, as Phil begins to go into detail about the Fall after he lost her.  Phil’s vocals on “Forest Fire” are noticeably very different here, it’s a little more understanding of what happened, even a little less lonely (although clearly he’s still very much hurt).  The piano’s are a nice touch and end up giving this a very BIG sound.  Phil continues to be a little stronger emotion here, as he talks about going through her things and going swimming.  This honestly though, doesn’t really hit me nearly as hard as earlier tracks, completely because of the instrumental.  It’s far from a bad tune, and I’m still completely emotionally invested in Phil and his story. But these much bigger instrumentals while they’re more thought at, they’re a little distracting from Phil’s performance.  Still though, this album remains absolutely gripping.   

Phil Elverum’s journey continues with “Swims”, and right off the bat this is more true to the sound that I was loving earlier.  Phil on this one isn’t holding back a single punch clearly, as he goes into great detail here about holding Genevieve as she died.  He seriously isn't holding anything back on this album, which is both incredible on his part but also really makes this album a little heavy to sit through at times.  Not since David Bowie’s “Blackstar” has an album come THIS close to death, however this is a little bit of a different perspective obviously.  Here, Phil brings up these unreal images of him not being able to go into his wives bedroom because he can still see her there, and how the only ting that can help is time.  As he goes on, Phil continues to sound so lonely, as he reveals that only two months after his wife’s passing the counselor he was seeing also passed away, leaving Phil without anyone to talk to.  And just when you thought the Phil was out of meaningful one-liners, he drops his truest yet, as he states “We are all so close to not existing at all”.  It might just be Phil’s most painfully true lyric yet.  Even that last little excerpt of him talking to his daughter about his deceased wife is just heart wrenching.  On “My Chasm” it begins to be evident that as these songs go on, Phil sounds much more at peace, mostly because as the album goes on so does time.  He describes himself as a container of stories about Genevieve who he often brings up without even trying.  Even more painful is his response, as he asks “Do people really want to keep hearing about my dead wife?”.  It’s moments like this that make you realize that Phil Elverum is bringing up every tough question, every question were afraid to ask anyone, especially ourselves.  The amount that he loved Genevieve is astronomical, which becomes more and more evident as the album goes on.    While Phil is obviously hurting inside still, he seems a little more comfortable within his own thoughts and within his own life.  But now it’s everyone else’s lives he’s worried about, as he claims he doesn’t understand the looks in their eyes.  Phil continues to drop meaningful memorable lines constantly, as he states “I now wield the power to transform a grocery store aisle into a canyon of pity and confusion”…how the hell did he even come up with that?  As “My Chasm” goes on, Phil continues to take things we’ve all felt and put them into words that we never could, all leading up to Phil once again stating “Look at me, death is real” sounding on the verge of tears.  Up next is “When I Take Out the Garbage At Night”, which sounds very instrumentally like his “lost wisdom” material.  Now, if you’re familiar with Phil’s music, no matter where or when it is in his discography, you should know he’s always been one for nature.  Here is no different, as he claims he’s one with the universe when he takes his garbage out.  I love the backing sound effects here, and as far as an atmospheric track goes, this is fantastic.  Obviously I’ve felt for Phil this entire album, but here I feel for him especially, as he goes into seriously dreading going back in the house and looking up at the windows for the room that Genevieve died in.  “When I Take Out the Garbage At Night” is really good, but doesn’t hold up as much because it’s seriously short, if only it was a minute or so longer.  But it IS really fascinating that even within his grieving he’s so comfortable in nature.  Up next is “Emptiness pt. 2”, and just from the title of this one you should know what you’re in for.  This one comes off as lonely in every way.  Even within everything that Phill is feeling right now, he’s so affected and so entranced by nature, which really isn’t too shocking.  Hell he’s even had whole albums or projects centered around the theme of being alone with nature, but he’s never felt this alone within it.  He talks about climbing this mountain just to be by himself.  While Genevieve’s absence has been a theme in almost every bar on this album, it’s never felt this deafening.  But even this far into the album, where you would think Phil was running out of incredible one liners, he states "Conceptual emptiness was cool to talk about back before I knew my way around these hospitals”.  Whether he meant it or not, Phil Elverum has truly gone above and beyond on this album, and this will go down in history as one of his most shining moments.  

By the time we get to "Toothbrush/Trash", you can tell Phil is just getting exhausted gathering all of his thoughts.  Phil opens up this one with "Today I just felt it for the first time", it's such a simple statement, but man is it ever powerful.  This one is all about memories of Genevieve, but here he sounds a little more understanding and at peace.  When it comes to "A Crow Looked At Me" as a whole, I think this album at the end of the day is most important for Phil himself.  This is an album about recover, healing, moving forwards, and finding things to live for, while of course remembering and respecting the past.  His memories on "Toothbrush/Trash" are fading slightly, and the photographs he has of Genevieve are fading slightly, and "The echoes" of her are dying down throughout the house.  Phil however still believes his wife is everywhere, from the wind blowing doors closed to flies buzzing around.  As soon as that piano hits though, I feel hope for Phil in some weird way, as he's moving on the best way he can.  He claims the garbage has been sitting in a room since Genevieve passed away, and he's finally gotten around to taking it out.  It's the little details that make this album unbelievably real.  This album is simply put, a masterpiece of emotion.  "Soria Moria" is up next, and is so much more subtle then the last few tracks here.  There's a huge nostalgic feel here, and even a bigger sense of longing.  The one is more of a story from when Phil was young, but to be honest it's just as well though out and just as focused.  It goes on to tell of him in his teenage years, and at first I really didn't know where this one was going.  Until the obvious hit me, that this is the story of how he met Genevieve.  Like I said earlier, it's shown here just how incredibly in love these two were, and from when they first met it seems.  It just makes this album that much more powerful.  Just when you think that Phil has literally touched down on every topic he could bring up, he ends up bringing a tear right to your eye again as he goes deep into her Chemotherapy treatments, and how he drove to see her every day at the hospital to bring her food and whatever else she wanted.  "A Crow looked At Me" is far from an album that is instantly gratifying.  You need to be patient with each track, and "Soria Moria" may be the biggest slow burner here.  An once again, this track ends with Phil once again finding something he loves in nature beckoning to him.  Now, I'm running out of tissues, so let's chat about this album's finale, "Crow".  Here, we have Phil singing to his daughter about his wife, so clearly this one has a few more feels to throw our way.  He talks here about walking through the woods to look at the remains of forest fires he discussed earlier, with this incredible imagery of his daughter asleep in his backpack wearing Genevieve's hat.  It's the two of them, father and daughter, all alone.  No wildlife, no people, no birds, just a single crow, and what an image THAT is.  Plus, that last exchange between Phil and his daughter is so surreal and hopeful and stunning, that you'll have to listen for yourself, it'll be more powerful that way.  

Rating: 9.1/10

Give A Listen To:  “Real Death”, “Seaweed”, "Swims", "Toothbrush / Trash"

Overall Thoughts:  Going into this, if you know even a sliver of the backstory of Phil Elverum's wife Genevieve's final months, you know this album is going to be heavy.  Not heavy musically, clearly, as Phil's trademark whisper quiet vocals are present mostly accompanied by only an acoustic guitar.  As far as emotions and atmospheres go however, this may be the heaviest thing you listen to all year.  Phil goes deep into detail of each stage of coping with the loss of a love one, bringing  in details you would never expect to hear from Phil or any artist.  Phil however, brings all of these themes together masterfully though, and puts feelings and thoughts into words that we as humans often try to but can't.  Whether he knows it or not, Phil Elverum has made his most flawless work under the Mount Eerie name.